


How It Could Have Been

by Lobotomite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, kind of, mentions of past csa, not sure if that's the proper term for it, nothing explicit though, universe swap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9077968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobotomite/pseuds/Lobotomite
Summary: Adam goes to bed as normal and wakes up to Aaron in his bed, Liv in his kitchen, and an entirely different wedding ring on his finger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely self indulgent, written because I've been an unrepentant Bartsy shipper since I first started watching back in 2011 and there are basically no fics out there which is honestly a travesty.
> 
> I am, as always, a very slow writer, so this is set back when Adam and Vic were still staying with Moira, who hadn't yet started really going off the rails. 
> 
> Lastly, this isn't beta read, but much thanks to Sav and my sister for reading over it for me and assuring me it's not the worst piece of fiction ever written.

Adam wakes slowly, head still foggy with sleep that slips away as he tries to follow it back down. He's not sure what time it is, aside from too early, but his alarm hasn't gone off yet so he lets himself doze, rolling closer to the warm body pressed against his side and pressing a kiss to their shoulder.

It takes a while (in all honesty, an embarrassingly long while) for him to realise that it isn't Vic he's cuddled up to. As soon as he does – as soon as it clicks that instead of soft, feminine curves, he's pressed against lean, angular, decidedly masculine planes – he jerks backwards, forcing his eyes open in confusion and blinking blearily at the stranger in his bed. Except, scratch that, not a stranger – his eyes focus and he relaxes, slumping back into the bed as he recognises that close-cut brown hair and the shape of those shoulders. Just Aaron.

God, they must have had plenty to drink last night, for them to be passed out in bed together. He hopes Vic had gone somewhere else for the night and hadn't had to babysit them through their drunkenness; they must have been pretty fucking bladdered. He can't even remember having any drinks at all. Actually, he can't remember _yesterday_ at all – well, it feels like he does, but it can't be, because the last thing he remembers is going to sleep with Vic in his bed like always, and unless Aaron sneaked into his bed last night and got rid of Vic on the way then there must have been at least a day in between then and now.

He gives up on trying to find memories in the thick fog filling his head as Aaron starts to stir beside him. He sighs and rolls over so he's facing Adam, head pillowed on his arm, and squints open one eye to look at him. Adam expects a similar jolt of surprise as the one he'd gone through, probably followed by an embarrassed, grumpy Aaron (likely for days), but Aaron seems supremely unconcerned, closing his eye after a moment and staying relaxed.

“If you're already awake you might as well be the one to feed the dogs,” he says sleepily, obviously intent on staying in bed, and Adam stares at him.

“Feed the dogs,” he repeats in disbelief. “We're both shirtless in my bed and your reaction is to tell me to go feed the dogs?” Aaron snorts at that, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Yeah, feed the dogs. We've not got time to do anything and get to the scrapyard on time.” _Time to do anything...? What the fuck is he on about?_ Adam continues to stare at him, waiting for him to start making sense, but he gives up after it becomes apparent that Aaron's just gone back to sleep. It's only after he starts to get up and get presentable that he starts to realise that it might not just be Aaron who's not making sense.

The room is undoubtedly the room he and Vic have been staying in at his mum's, but it's not quite right. The slight familiarity makes everything stranger. Shirts of his own he recognises sitting next to ones he's never seen before, and ones he's seen Aaron wearing – or, more accurately, all three haphazardly strewn across the room and hanging out of the dresser. He stares blankly around the room, feeling like he's in a bubble or a dream. On some level he's aware that he should be freaking out more, should be shaking Aaron awake and demanding to know what the fuck is happening, but he just can't summon the urgency, so he just pulls on the first shirt he finds and forces himself to move.

He throws the door open and heads into the kitchen, relieved to see that everything seems to be in it's place at first glance. There's a note on the table letting him know that his mum has gone out already, in reassuringly familiar handwriting. Adam is taking a closer look at the kitchen – noting uneasily that while there's nothing _wrong_ with it as such there's something not right about it either – when there's a rustling from the living room followed by the click of claws on wood, and he turns towards the noise, expecting to see Scrappy coming to greet him. He does see that. What he also sees is a little ball of fluff racing ahead of Scrappy and barrelling into his legs, whuffling and wriggling in excitement.

_'Oh, god, another thing different'_ he thinks, the anxiety sitting under his ribs growing, and looks down at this strange dog who seems to know him. His gaze is met by one large brown eye, the space where the other one is meant to be taken up with a long horizontal scar. The thick white fur on it's face is run through with streaks of furless scarred skin, it's tongue is lolling from the side of it's mouth, and all Adam can think as it bounces up and down in it's hind legs is that it's one of the ugliest dogs he's ever seen.

The dogs give him something other than the unease threatening to turn into fear to concentrate on, though, so he sets about doing the task Aaron had assigned him, going into the living room only long enough to find and retrieve the dog food bowls and take them into the kitchen. He successfully fills Scrappy's bowl with food and then realises he has no idea how much food the little one should get. Both dogs are sitting at rigid attention when he looks, hungry gazes watching his movements intently, and he shrugs to himself and decides to just give it a scoop; it's only small and he's sure it can last until tea.

“Are you giving Princess dry food?” The voice that interrupts the quiet of the kitchen is pure concentrated disdain in the way only a teenager's can be and it makes Adam start so hard half of the food in the scoop goes skittering across the floor, quickly chased down by the two dogs. He swears under his breath and spins around, scoop still in his hand, and sheepishly meets Liv's gaze. She has both of her hands up and her eyebrows raised, a bemused smirk on her face. “Woah, calm down. I'm just trying to save you from Aaron's wrath – he won't be pleased if she hurts herself trying to eat dry food because you forgot to give her the wet stuff.” She pushes past him and rummages around in the fridge, completely at ease around him and in this house as if she lives here herself, and he shakes his head, trying to act normal. Until he knows what he's dealing with he doesn't want to worry anyone or arouse suspicion – he would really like to have some sort of handle on what this is before he gets someone else involved.

“Sorry,” he says, dumping the scoop back into the package and doing it back up. “Still not completely awake... didn't get much sleep last night. Wasn't expecting you to be there.” Liv has turned back towards him and she wrinkles her nose, thrusting a small tin of dog food into his hands.

“Ugh, I don't want to know what you and my brother get up to, thank you,” she says, popping some bread in the toaster, and Adam goes red when he realises what she's implying.

“No, I- not like that!” he protests.

“Sure,” she says, sounding unconvinced. “Not like I don't know it happens. Just don't wanna hear about it.” He's about to press his point when Aaron pads quietly into the kitchen, now clad in a T-shirt and loose sweatpants, and gives his sister a quick, warm smile.

“Morning,” she says, leaning against the counter and smiling back.

“Mornin'.” Aaron turns to Adam as he scratches Scrappy behind the ears and lets the little one – Princess? - paw at his thigh and lick his hand.

“Bloody hell, Adam, you've still not fed the dogs? Shove over, I'll do it.” His grumpy tone is belied by the gentle way he hipchecks Adam out of the way, taking the tin from him and opening it up.

“It's not my fault your sister distracted me,” Adam protests.

“Hey, I didn't ask you to start telling me about my brother's sex life,” she counters, and he's aware of Aaron's indignant disbelief but can't concentrate on it due to the look he's just had at the ring on Aaron's finger. He's used to there being a ring there, it's been a while now since Robert proposed, but even though he's not exactly an expert on Aaron's ring, he's pretty sure the one he's looking at isn't the one Aaron's been wearing the last couple of months.

It looks similar at first glance, but it's only the outside that's light grey, with a darker, almost black band in the middle. He has a feeling Aaron's not the only one with a different ring, and a peek down at his own hand confirms it; an identical ring is on Adam's finger instead of his familiar gold band. Something is really wrong here, and he doesn't know if it's him or the whole damn world that's not right.

“Adam?” He starts and focusses back on Aaron, who's looking at him his eyebrows raised. “Did you hear a single thing I just said?”

“Um... no. Sorry.” He attempts a sheepish smile. “Like I was saying to Liv, didn't get much sleep last night.” Aaron frowns, looking him over with a concerned furrow forming on his brow.

“You do seem a bit off. You feelin' all right?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he lies. “Just need to wake up a bit.” Aaron doesn't look entirely convinced but after a moment of scrutinising Adam's face he appears to let it go, face smoothing out.

“Right, well, I was just asking what you wanted to do about that order we're picking up today, but the state you're in you probably shouldn't be behind the wheel. So, I guess I'm stuck with driving duty today.”

“Yeah, that's probably for the best. Sorry mate, I'll make it up to ya.” He fights to keep his face normal and curses to himself – if their relationship in this weird place he's found himself is what he thinks it is, 'mate' is probably not the right word choice – but Aaron doesn't seem to find anything amiss, a small smirk finding its way onto his face.

“Yeah, I'm sure you will,” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice. Liv makes a loud noise of disgust and dumps her now empty plate in the sink, flouncing past them and out of the room, and Adam is suddenly back in that old car, heart racing with adrenaline, knowing suddenly exactly what Aaron is about to do and being terrified of it, being terrified of how much he _wanted_ it. This time, though, he lets it happen, lets Aaron's hand cup the back of his neck and pull him in.

He could – _should_ – turn away from it, play it off. He's _married_ , he shouldn't be kissing someone else, even if the world seems to have spun on its head. He still lets it happen, because he doesn't want to make Aaron worry, because he needs to play along, but also because he's been feeling this for so long, been so fucking curious for so long and he's not strong enough to pass up an opportunity to find out without repercussions.

For all of the years of worry and wondering and over thinking that built up to it, when it happens, the actual kiss is... well. It's a kiss. It's quick and chaste, and it's definitely distinctly kissing a man but at the same time it doesn't feel all that different from any of the girls he's kissed before. His stomach twists nervously at the lack of distaste, at the confirmation after all this time that this _is_ something he's into, but on the whole it's a relief. Because now he knows, and because yeah, it feels good, but it's not some moment of enlightenment that puts his previous relationships to shame either. It doesn't make him think, _this is what's been missing the whole time_. Now he knows, and what he knows it that it's something that could have been in his life, not something that's been missing from it.

Aaron brushes past him, setting down the dogs' food, and Adam spends the rest of the morning trying to slot in to the obviously well established routine – a quick breakfast, Aaron coaxing a reluctant Liv out the door, Liv easily coaxing “lunch money” from a supposedly reluctant Aaron, getting dressed. They get changed at the same time in his – their – room, and Adam can't help but look and check. Well, that's the main reason, but Aaron had never been keen on exposing his body even before he had scars to hide and now that he's got the chance, well, Aaron's certainly developed a body worth looking at.

He does find what he's looking for, and been hoping not to see; lines cutting across his chest and stomach, in varying shades of pink and silver. He only manages to get a quick look, but from what he can see none of them look very recent; he can only hope that the same is true of his Aaron.

When he actually gets dressed, he does so as fast as possible, slightly uncomfortable. If everything was normal, he wouldn't have any hesitation getting changed in front of him, because he trusts him implicitly and knows that Aaron is fully aware of where the boundaries are – and, if he's going to be honest, the idea of Aaron wanting to sneak a look doesn't exactly hurt his self esteem. This Aaron, though, is operating under the assumption that those boundaries are very different – and really, this Aaron acts like his Aaron, looks like him, but there are obviously differences in what they've experienced and it's an incredibly unsettling feeling, being around Aaron and not having that vast shared experience to draw from.

It's like when Aaron had first come back to Emmerdale, when he'd heard about and then gotten confirmation of his self harm, and when he'd found out that Aaron had been seeing Robert for months and not let anything slip to Adam, that feeling of one of the foundational relationships he'd always taken for granted shifting underneath his feet. Only this was a thousand times worse. At least those times, he'd still known that despite everything he knew _Aaron_ , he knew what they'd shared. Now... Now he didn't know what experiences he shared with this Aaron, which experiences this Aaron was drawing from that he wasn't, what experiences Adam remembered and this Aaron knew nothing about.

Luckily, at the very least this Aaron shares his Aaron's monosyllabism in the morning so Adam doesn't have to worry about putting his foot in it. They make the journey down to the scrapyard in comfortable silence, there's another kiss (this one is longer, less chaste, makes his stomach flip) and then Aaron is off down the driveway in the company truck and Adam is on his own again.

He gives himself a moment to just breath, slumping onto the portacabin steps and resting his head on his hands. This whole thing is fucking insane, and he has no goddamn idea about where to go from here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long - I'm still getting used to writing again. Shouldn't be as big a gap until the next chapter, but I make no guarantees.

It was strange. Since waking up in the wrong version of the right bed, surrounded by off-brand versions of familiar things and people, he'd been feeling like he was in a dream. He was kept busy trying to stumble his way through conversations without making his ignorance obvious and cataloguing the unfamiliar. Now, though, left alone in the only place that seems superficially untouched by the changes, the only place where he wasn't confronted by the situation he was in everywhere he turned, everything suddenly seemed horrifyingly real. Heat swept through his body as panic started licking at his chest in earnest and he curled over, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes until he was seeing stars.

His thoughts can't help but go to Ashley, betrayed by his own brain, seeing strangers in the faces of his own family. Was something like that happening to him? He's so sure that this isn't his life – but then, Ashley must be sure his brain isn't lying to him. Ashley did get confused, though, had gaps even in the things he did remember, and that's not what this is like. Adam is confused, sure, but his mind and his memories are clear; it's just that they don't fit into what he can see.

He's not sure how long he stays there, curled into himself, mind chasing it's own tail trying to come to grips with everything, but the longer he thinks the less anything makes sense. Panic is squeezing his chest tighter and tighter so he finally forces himself to stop spinning his wheels and does what he'd be encouraging Aaron to do if he was having one of his panic attacks, calming his breathing and making himself take deep, even breaths. Just sitting and thinking is only freaking him out, so he pushes down the panic and makes himself concentrate on something more productive; figuring out where he stands in this weird place he finds himself.

The easiest, most obvious place to start is his phone (well, the other Adam's phone), so he fishes it out from his coat pocket and thumbs the power button. It's the same brand he's got, and luckily for him his other self is just as lax with phone security as he is, so all he has to do is swipe right on the screen and he has full access. He can't help but smile looking at his background. It's a selfie taken by the other Adam of him and Aaron, Adam's arm around Aaron's shoulders, faces pressed close together and beaming up at the camera. You don't always get the full picture from photos, he knows that, but they look genuinely happy; Aaron has those crinkles around his eyes he gets when he's proper smiling, and his doppleganger's face is bright and open.

Messages seem the obvious place for information so that's where he starts, a quick tap on the screen bringing him to the contacts screen. It's just like everything else has been since he woke up this morning, similar enough to be recognisably his but different enough to be disconcerting. First on the list is, unsurprisingly, Aaron, and he rolls his eyes at his other self's addition of a string of heart emojis after the name. Somehow he doubts he has the same treatment in Aaron's phone. He flicks through the list, just taking a look at who's on there, finding vaguely familiar business contacts interspersed with completely unfamiliar people and names he'd expect to be there; Cain, Chas, Finn. Then he reaches the 'h's and his heart abruptly stops and lurches in his chest, before quickly thundering back to life and flooding his body with adrenaline. Fuck. Holly.

Her name is right there in front of him, right under Hannah's, and it's stupid and unrealistic but so is everything else that's happened today and he can't help the hope that makes his chest feel too tight and his throat close up. He woke up married to Aaron, for god's sake – obviously things are different here. Maybe this is his chance to make sure his big sister knows how much he loves her, to tell her everything he thought he'd lost the chance to. He'd gladly put up with all of this confusion for one last chance to see her. He moves his thumb over her name, shaky and light headed with anxious anticipation, but before he clicks on it he registers the message preview under her name and the hope drops out of him in a sickening rush.

“ _I miss you_ ”, it says, and he remembers sending that exact message knowing she would never read it. One last flicker of hope – _maybe it's in a different context_ – makes him click through, but he doesn't even need to fully read the rest of the messages to know that his hope was misplaced. He jams his thumb onto the back button and looks up into the sky, blinking back tears and forcing himself to breathe evenly. It's not like he didn't know it was a long shot, but it still hurts, losing that brief glimmer of hope and coming crashing back down to reality.

Another few seconds is all he lets himself have to get composed before he shoves the pain down where he's been compartmentalising the rest of his grief and forces himself to move on, flicking quickly down the list so that he doesn't have to look at her name and his plaintive last message. He's met immediately with a name he hadn't expected, hadn't even considered, that stands out amongst various strangers and business contacts. Jackson. There's no last name, so it might not be Aaron's Jackson, but, well. Thinking about it, it's not like it's all that far-fetched. He has no idea when this Aaron and Adam first got together, but if it was before Jackson's accident it makes sense that he would have never ended up in that crash.

He clicks through to the message log, hoping to confirm it one way or another and orient himself a bit more. It's immediately obvious that him and Jackson aren't particularly close; the messages are perfectly friendly, but pretty impersonal. A lot of them are just Jackson making sure Aaron has actually gotten his messages or using Adam as a go-between to organise meeting up with Aaron – looks like this Aaron is just as useless as his at keeping his phone on him and actually replying to people, and it's a testament to how much Aaron means to him that this familiarity brings a small, fond smile to his face.

He can't be totally sure, but it does seem like the same Jackson. As far as he can tell from the little information he has, it looks like Aaron and Jackson either broke up but stayed friends or never got together in the first place. He's glad that this Aaron still has Jackson – Aaron might not be (hopefully isn't) in love with him here, but he deserves as big a support network as possible, and Adam knows that Aaron doesn't particularly click with most people. He was better now at being on friendly terms with people than when he'd been an angry, hurting teenager (he had pretty much the whole village wrapped around his little finger by now, not that Aaron could see that), but a proper friendship required a certain amount of trust that Aaron was unwilling to give to just anyone, and Adam was glad that one of those such people was still in his life.

Having something productive to focus on is helping to soothe his nerves, giving him some semblance of solid ground to stand on, so he keeps going, tapping back to the contacts list and scrolling further down. It's more of the same; all of the important names are there, among a smattering of familiar business contacts and acquaintances and the occasional new name. His feels more settled, seeing that there doesn't seem to be any major differences in the people he has in his life and this Adam has in his – though he still isn't sure how the relationships themselves might be different.

His phone is the quickest place to get a better bearing on that, but he's already been sitting on these steps for a while, and it's hardly going to be a good look if he's still sat here when Aaron gets back. There's one person he can't help but look into before he gets to work – she's right at the bottom of the list, and he taps her name knowing her relationship with this Adam is going to be completely different from their relationship back in the normal world.

The thing that worries him the most is that until after Aaron had left the village, Vic had really been a lot closer to Aaron than him. It's not like he's worried he's been thrown into a place where he's on bad terms with her, because this Adam would have to have royally fucked up for that to happen, but he has no idea how long this whole fucked up version of reality will last and to go from living with her and planning a family to just being friendly acquaintances would just kill him.

All of these other changes, while overwhelming, he can just about handle. Being married to Aaron might not have been something he'd ever think would happen, ever let himself think could happen, but he fucking loves that man, has loved him since he was that boy, stalking around the village with his hackles up and a scowl on his face. Spending his life with him is the opposite of a hardship, and he can't imagine that the Adam he's replaced is anything but satisfied in his life and his choice of partner.

Yes, with Aaron comes Liv, in a weird older brother slash pseudo father relationship, but he likes Liv. She's really the spitting image of her brother, putting up a hard exterior and making trouble, but he's seen the way she looks at her brother like he hung the sun, the way her entire being softens around Gabby. They haven't spent much time together, and he knows she's been giving Aaron and the others a bit of grief but hell, they all survived Aaron's teenage years, and the only proper role model he'd had at the time was Paddy. With Aaron there for her and all of the support network he's managed to build around himself, he's sure she'll be fine, and he'll be fine living with her. He'll survive it, at any rate.

And yes, Holly is... Holly is gone here, too. It's not like that will ever be easy. Just thinking about it makes his chest start closing in again. But he'll have to deal with that – or more accurately, compartmentalise and _not_ deal with that for as long as possible – regardless of where he is.

Reading through their latest messages brings a confusing mixture of relief, disappointment, and jealousy. Relief, because they seem to be pretty good friends. It reminds him of the way they talked back when he'd managed to get back in her good books but before they got back together, only without the underlying romantic tension. Which, incidentally, is the cause of both disappointment and relief. In part, he would be horrified if he found out that this Adam had something with Vic behind Aaron's back – but the other part of him, the one married to Vic, is upset that there isn't anything between them here. The disappointment mingles with jealousy at the discovery that Vic is seeing someone; his name is Jordan, apparently, and this place's Adam is good-naturedly teasing her about not having introduced him to everyone yet but this Adam fucking _hates_ the bloke.

He knows the hurt he feels is unfair – this Vic isn't in a relationship with him, doesn't have any reason to consider him at all when it comes to her romantic relationships. That doesn't mean he isn't feeling it.

Relearning the specifics of all of his personal relationships is emotionally exhausting, and if he wants to fly under the radar until he gets this whole mess sorted out in his head he needs to have made some progress at work before Aaron gets back. The information he's got should be enough to carry him through to the next time he has a chance to dredge up more information, so he sets his phone to sleep and pockets it before pushing himself up and getting his work clothes on.

He throws himself into the heavier work available, the kind that allows him to really let loose and channel his emotions, but he quickly finds that his excuse to Aaron earlier might have been the truth after all. It's almost like he's jet-lagged – he's tired down to his bones, limbs heavy and useless, and he gives up on the heavy work quickly, dropping his crowbar against the wall. Looks like it's a day for the lighter work.

Looking through his phone and working through his panic took a long time, so he hasn't gotten much done by the time he hears the familiar rumble of the work truck and Aaron comes driving up over the hill. He pulls back from under the bonnet of one of the latest cars they've gotten in, leaning back against it as he waits for Aaron to pull up and get out. He's so unused to feeling so _nervous_ at the idea of seeing Aaron.

Sweat is dripping down his forehead despite it being so cold he swears his breath is a degree away from solidifying into mist, so he scrubs his sleeves hurriedly across his face while Aaron hops out of the truck and walks up to him, not wanting to let on exactly how pathetic he's feeling right now.

Of course, he should have known that a quick wipe down of his face wouldn't be enough to fool Aaron. His brow is already creased with concern by the time he's reached him and he completely forgoes a greeting to reach out, cupping Adam's face with one hand and pressing the back of the other against his forehead.

“Ach,” he yelps, ducking away from his hands and scowling at him. “Leave off, Aaron.” He's met with an impatient scowl, and Aaron advances on him again.

“Leave off yourself, Adam. You look awful.”

“Cheers, mate,” he snarks back automatically, swatting at Aaron's inquisitive hands. “That makes me feel _great_.” Aaron just sighs impatiently, fixing him with an unimpressed stare as he takes a reluctant step back and lets Adam have some space.

“You know what I mean, Adam. You look like you _feel_ awful. Are you sure you're all right to be working? I can handle the scrapyard myself today, if you're not feeling up to it.”

“I'm fine,” Adam protests. He manages to hold eye contact with Aaron's disbelieving gaze for a good few seconds, but his stare is unrelenting and he gives up with a sigh. “Okay, so I don't feel one hundred percent. Doesn't mean I'm useless. I'll just focus on the light stuff today.” Really, he should be taking the excuse to spend some time alone further orienting himself or figuring out how to get out of this mess, but he's barely been treading water all day and the longer he's by himself the easier it is to completely over think things and fall deeper into panic. Even though he knows this isn't his Aaron it doesn't stop him from being a comfort, someone inherently familiar, and he likes to think he's pretty strong but he desperately needs that right now.

Aaron doesn't look completely convinced but he nods nonetheless, twisting around to take a brief look at the truck he just parked and then turning back to Adam.

“Well, we don't have any more pick-ups for a while... Let's get the easier stuff down off the truck, head to the Woolpack for lunch and see how you feel afterwards, yeah? We can leave the heavier shit for a couple of days if it comes to that.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Adam teased, settling into their usual rhythm easily, automatically. “Pretend you're worried and use me as an excuse to skive off work early.”

“Any excuse to go for an early pint,” Aaron agreed easily, pulling him in by the front of his work vest for a kiss. It should probably unnerve him more, how quickly he's gotten comfortable kissing his best mate, but anything that's comfortable right now is something he's going to latch on to so he just goes with it. Aaron smooths his hands down the front of Adam's vest as he pulls back, raising his eyebrows and gesturing to the truck with a jerk of his head and a smile. “Let's get to it, then. Faster we're done that faster I have a drink in my hand. And the faster my poor sick husband get a break, of course,” he says with a wink, turning on his heel and heading to the truck. Adam just rolls his eyes and follows, a fond smile on his face.

It doesn't take long to get most of the scrap off the truck bed. Him and his Aaron have pulled plenty of loads of scrap down before, and everything comes just as easily with this Aaron, especially given they're leaving the heaviest stuff for another day. They're done before he knows it, only slightly worse for wear, and then they've pulled off their work gear and Aaron is driving them down to the Woolpack.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yeah. I know I said this was going to be here quickly, but better late than never, right?

The Woolpack looks like it always does, warm and comforting as he sits across from Aaron while he complains about his difficulty picking up the scrap earlier today. Adam's not really listening, preoccupied with the dull ache in his head and trying to surreptitiously people watch, but Aaron seems to mainly be trying to make Adam feel more relaxed and doesn't look like he minds Adam's lack of attention.

The usual suspects are there; Ross, not working as usual, talking to – arguing with, probably – Charity over the bar, leaving Finn sitting beside him in silence. Which – fuck, Finn. This whole "waking up in someone else's life" crap, that's the sort of thing that would happen on the stuff Finn watches, or reads, or whatever. Maybe he'll have some idea of what's going on; some idea of where to start to figure it out, at least.

Not that he's going to waltz up and tell Finn what's happening as far as Adam knows. That would be a sure fire way to end up in the hospital getting his head scanned. Finn loves to talk about that nerdy stuff, though, he's sure he can get some information out of him.

Aaron is toying with an empty glass, having gone quiet without Adam noticing, watching him with the soft look on his face that his Aaron only wears when he thinks nobody is looking at him. It's overwhelming, almost, seeing Aaron's feelings so clearly on display, and he downs the rest of his drink, reaching for Aaron's glass, making a move as much to try for answers as to avoid thinking too much about Aaron's affection.

"I'll get us another one in, yeah?" He barely waits for a nod before he's out of his seat, sidling up next to Finn and sliding the glasses onto the counter. Charity barely spares him a glance, holding a hand up briefly to acknowledge him and then turning back to Ross, and that suits Adam just fine. He takes hold of that opportunity, leaning on the bar then looking over to Finn and tilting his head in greeting.

"Alright?"

Finn nods back, smiling at him, that gratingly familiar look of disguised sympathy on his face.

"Hey, Adam."

"Hey, ah, look, mate, you're into all that sci-fi stuff, yeah?"

Finn shrugs and nods.

"Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"Well, I was wondering. Say you have a - a character, and one day they're, you know, normal. Then the next day, they're still themselves, but everything else is different. Not _really_ different, right, all of the people they know are there, and it's still pretty much the same place, but it's different a little bit. Like something – well, different, happened in the past, and now everything is off. Is that – is there a name for that?"

Finn nudges his glasses up his nose, nodding again.

"You mean like an alternate universe? Yeah, that's a pretty common trope. I mean, a lot of the time it's more like Star Trek, you know, with the evil versions of everyone, but what you're talking about is more like, um, the Community type thing. 'The darkest timeline' and all that."

Alternate universe? Well, that does sound like a name that works with what's happening. He'd hardly call this the "darkest timeline", wouldn't even call it dark, but it seems like it could be _a_ timeline.

"Yeah, that sounds like it. How – well, how do they usually get back? To their original... universe."

Finn looks a little bit confused at the direction their conversation is going, but he seems open to it, obviously likes talking about this sort of stuff.

"Well, that depends on why they're there in the first place. Usually it's either finding or fixing the phlebotinum that got them there in the fir- it's, um, it's a term for, you know, the made up technology or magic in shows and stuff," he explains, noticing Adam's blank stare, going slightly red and laughing self consciously. "Sorry. I'm used to talking about this stuff with... well, with other nerds."

"No problem, mate. But what if there isn't any phleb... ot... that stuff?" Adam certainly hadn't been playing around with any weird sci-fi technology, after all. He's pretty sure he would've noticed a space ship sitting around in the scrapyard.

"Well, there's always some sort of phlebotinum – it's just the way that it happened, and that's always made up, obviously. I mean, you can't do it in real life, can you," he says, smiling like it's the most ridiculous idea in the world, and Adam makes himself laugh in agreement. It's not like he's wrong, though; it is pretty fucking ridiculous. "If it's not some sort of technology, though, then it's probably magic. Usually they're transported to the other universe to teach them a lesson – showing them what would have happened if they'd done something they should have, or what would have happened if they hadn't done something, something like that, and then they go home when they figure out what the lesson is."

"Right." That sounds... well, nothing about this is plausible, but that sounds like it could be it.

Charity, serendipitously, chooses that moment to place two glasses in front of Adam with a "there you are," and a smile before disappearing into the back. To do important bar work, no doubt.

He says a quick goodbye to a bemused looking Finn, settling back into his seat and sliding Aaron his pint.

"Sorry. Charity was having a go at Ross, I think."

Aaron darkens the screen of his phone and places it on the table, looking over at him with a nod of thanks and a smile.

"When isn't she, ay? Good chat with Finn?"

"Yeah, s'alright." They lapse back into silence, Aaron going back to his phone after a little while, as Adam stares blankly at his pint, mulling over his conversation with Finn.

So... there must have been _something_ that brought him here, to this weird alternate universe. But what? Magic? Some space-age technology? He doesn't remember pissing off any strange old ladies, doesn't remember messing around with any technology that he didn't understand. The biggest things that have happened to him lately have been losing Holly and almost losing Aaron - but he's hardly learning anything new about Holly, isn't getting another chance with her, and he doesn't need to be married to him to know that losing Aaron would destroy him.

He's mulling everything over, trying to pinpoint the reason for him being here, when he notices something on his hand.

It's a small scar, right where his thumb meets the palm, and it's noticeable but not particularly noteworthy. It wouldn't be, at least, except for the fact that Adam knows he doesn't have this scar. He _knows_ he doesn't. It's in such an obvious place that he would have noticed before now, and it's a notably old scar on top of that – it can't be recent and unnoticed.

So he's left with the conclusion that he hasn't only swapped places with this other Adam, he's swapped _bodies_. Which... well, it explains why he's felt heavy and clumsy, hasn't felt completely in control of himself, if he's in a body that's close to his own but not the same. It doesn't answer any of his questions, though, doesn't fucking tell him why he's _here_.

It doesn't have to be a complete wash, though. He's been having trouble acting normal, reacting to everything properly, and maybe he can use this to his advantage, to help himself settle into this Adam's skin. Use this Adam's muscle memory to fit in – especially with Aaron. He can shut down his brain, stop overanalysing everything, and let this... _universe'_ s Adam show him how to act.

There's a gentle tap on the table in front of him, and Adam starts, looking up and meeting Aaron's concerned eyes.

"I reckon I should take you home, Adam. You still look pretty out of it."

He should probably jump at the chance to figure things out by himself, without the pressure of acting normal in front of Aaron, but his head shakes "no" before he can even think about it. He still needs Aaron's presence to latch on to, doesn't want to be alone.

"No! No, Aaron, I'd really rather not." Aaron hums.

"Well, at least stick to paperwork, yeah? For me."

"Yeah, okay, sure. Sure."

"Come on, then," Aaron says, reaching over and squeezing Adam's hand. "Think it's time to give up on that pint, you've not touched it in ages." He glances over, and Aaron has already finished his second glass; apparently he's been lost in thought longer than he'd realised, and he nods reluctantly, taking a final drink now that he's remembered it's there and then pushing his seat out.

Aaron sends Adam worried glances on the way back to the scrapyard as Adam rests his head on the window, but Adam doesn't have it in him to reassure him, just stares out at the familiar landscape until it comes time to get out of the car and head into the portacabin. He's left to his own devices then, Aaron heading back out to the more physical work, but it's reassuring to be able to look out the window and see him, to know that he's a yell or a gesture away.

He doesn't get much work done. He doesn't get any further in figuring out what to do, either. Most of his time is spent staring blankly at the paper spread out in front of him, or watching out the window as Aaron gets on with his work, mind working overtime but not coming to any real conclusions. The only thing he can decide on is that it must be something to do with Aaron or Vic; they're the only two people who really seem to have a different relationship to him.

He can't exactly wander down to see Vic, can't find out how she's doing. So it's a relief, when they get home, and he finally sees his mum, standing in the kitchen with Liv. She turns around with that soft, tired look he hates, but god, it's good to see her.

"Hi, loves," she says, arms opening, and he falls into her hug, presses close to her and lets himself take comfort in the simple presence of his mum, lets himself be taken back to his childhood when a hug was all he needed to fix anything, just as reassuring despite the weird knowledge hovering in the background that she's not the same as _his_ mum.

He has to fight back tears, even, almost compelled to come apart and tell her everything, beg her to make it right, so he pulls away before he can give in and manages a smile. She moves on to Aaron, pulling him in to a much shorter hug as Adam nods in greeting to Liv, only just realising that she seems to be making herself useful and helping with tea.

"What's the occasion, then?" he asks, and Liv just looks at him wearily.

"There isn't one," she says haughtily, but her expression seems concerned, and she keeps flicking her gaze from the potatoes she's peeling, to Adam, and then behind him, to where – to where Aaron and his mum are talking quietly, and Aaron is trying his best not to look like he's just been looking at Adam.

"Aaron," Adam says warningly, "Have you been talking about me behind my back?"

"No!" Aaron says defensively, at the same time as Moira turns to Adam.

"He wasn't talking about you, Adam, he's just worried. We all are. You know as well as I do that this hasn't been easy for any of us, so just let us take care of you for tonight, alright?"

"We're here to look after _you_ , mum," he protests, feeling guilty that he's making her worry about him on top of everything that's happening, and his mum just shakes her head.

"Don't be daft, Adam," Aaron cuts in. "We all love you, and we want to be there for you. Just, come and have a beer, and we'll watch something, and have a quiet night, okay?" His mum is nodding in agreement, and Adam half wants to break the tension, ask, what, even Liv? But she's there too, isn't she, quietly trying to do something for him, and he knows he probably is worrying them all, so he just lets his shoulders slump and nods.

"Yeah, okay. Cheers," he says quietly, twisting briefly around so that Liv knows he's talking to her too, and she gives a quick nod, face pink as she stares doggedly at her work. Aaron comes over, pulls him into a one armed hug and kisses the corner of his mouth, then pats his back, nudging him in the direction of the living room.

"Go on, then, put your feet up. I'll get us some drinks," and Adam does as he's told, almost getting bowled over by two dogs as soon as he opens the door.

"Get down, Scrappy," he shoving at her big head and cautiously stepping around Princess – she's tiny, and he'd really rather not spend his time here dealing with the aftermath of trampling Aaron's dog by accident – then falling onto the couch.

The TV works just the same as it does in his universe, and a quick flick through the channels tells him those are the same, too, so he switches it onto the first half decent show he sees and settles in.

He's got Scrappy with her head in his lap demanding pets, he's got a tiny mess of a dog that he's having to keep blocking from hopping up on the couch next to him, he feels completely lost and adrift in a sea of familiar faces and things that could be completely different from what he's used to, and he has no idea how to get back to normality.

But he's got his mum, he's got Aaron, he has people who noticed he wasn't coping very well today and made it their mission to take care of him – he's got people who love him. So he thinks, maybe he can get through this. Maybe it won't be too bad.


	4. Chapter 4

He's not alone for long, Aaron settling next to him after a few minutes and passing him a can.

"Cheers," Adam says, smiling at him, and Aaron smiles back, looking completely relaxed lounging on the couch. They sit in silence, much like they've been doing the whole day, but Aaron still doesn't seem to mind, seems content to sit next to him and let Princess bounce up onto his lap, giving her full body rubs and letting her kiss his face.

Scrappy doesn't seem bothered by the unfair treatment – she seems happy to lean on Adam's legs with her head in his lap, just like back in his own universe, and it's a nice comforting weight, her soft fur familiar against his fingers.

Aaron ignores the judgemental look Adam sends him as he continues to get a tongue bath – Adam is willing to bet he's very used to getting judged for his lack of boundaries with his dogs – and lets Princess wiggle up his chest, until there's a cheerful call from the kitchen.

"I know there aren't any dogs on my couch," Moira says, clearly a warning. and Aaron looks sheepishly over his shoulder, hands stilling on a disappointed Princess but not making a move to push her off.

"No, there aren't," he calls back defensively.

"And of course there aren't any dogs on the lap of a certain someone on my couch, because that would be the same as her being on the couch," she continues, sounding amused, and Aaron's shoulders slump.

"Of course not," he says resignedly, and reluctantly picks her up and places her onto the floor, leaning his elbows on his knees and ruffling the fur on her face.

"Don't worry, I still love ya, even if everyone else is mean and unfair," he whispers, then pushes himself upright, turning to Adam and kicking his ankle. "It's not funny," he scolds, and Adam just continues to smile at his ridiculous best friend – his _husband,_ jesus _._

"I don't think she cares that much, babe," he says. She really doesn't, has already turned and trotted over to a little bed in the corner, and it feels so natural to say it that it takes him a second to recognise the pet name that slipped out of his mouth automatically.

_Muscle memory,_ he thinks weakly. It must be something this Adam says often enough, because Aaron just pouts at him and settles back onto the couch.

It's still odd, being in this familiar house with familiar people in a completely different way, but there's a comfortable atmosphere. The soft background noise of Liv and his mum isn't anything like when Vic is chatting with her, but it's nice all the same, and Aaron's quiet presence next to him will never be anything but a comfort.

Liv comes tromping into the living room after a while, apparently done with her dinner duties, and falls onto the couch on Aaron's other side. They talk quietly, and Adam should really be eavesdropping and trying to glean clues from their conversation, but he's warm and comfortable and he's asleep before he even realises he's nodding off.

***

He comes to with a hand resting on his shoulder, and blinks blearily up at Aaron.

"Hey," He says quietly, brow creased in concern. "C’mon, dinner's done."

"Mmmnn," Adam grunts, rubbing at one of his eyes and pushing himself up from where he's been curled into the arm of the couch. "Shit. Sorry. Didn't realise I was that tired."

"It's fine," Aaron assures him, standing up and hovering over Adam as he pushes himself to his feet as well, obviously barely restraining himself from taking Adam by the arm and leading him to the dinner table like an invalid. "Early night, ay?"

"Yeah," Adam says, and god, he needs it. He hadn't realised the full extent of how tired he was, but the past day has been emotionally exhausting. His body is heavy and he just wants to lay down and sleep for a week. He can't though, not without worrying everyone, so he resolves to get through dinner and spend some quiet time with his family – _other_ _Adam_ 's family, he reminds himself – until he can reasonably fall into bed.

Dinner is good, hot comfort food, shepherd's pie and veges, warm and filling – and okay, it's worth delaying some sleep for. He eats it way too quickly, gets served up a second helping from Aaron (sans eyeroll, no less – Aaron must be worried about him) when he catches him looking longingly at Aaron's plate, and he gets through that in a good amount of time as well. He even manages to get out of the washing up – and it might be a bit naff of him, to take advantage of them being worried enough to usher him into the living room instead of the kitchen, but hell, he's genuinely exhausted and he just wants to lie down.

He settles for stretching out on the couch, kicking his feet up on the table as his mum sits on the other couch and just rolls her eyes at his uncouth behaviour. They chat quietly about their days, and this is just the same as back in his universe, chatting with his mum in front of the telly. It helps to keep him awake, having something to concentrate on, but when Aaron and Liv come back in and join the conversation he finds it harder to keep up.

He makes a valiant attempt, but he knows he's drifting in and out of the conversation, and his eyelids keep trying to drag themselves closed against his will. Eventually Aaron sighs and throws an arm over his shoulders, kissing his temple, and then stands up, pulling Adam up with him.

"Time for bed, you," he orders, and Adam doesn't even check the time, doesn't protest, just gladly lets himself be led to the bedroom after mumbling goodnight to a concerned Moira and Liv.

Aaron gives him a soft kiss and strokes his hair back when they get there, cupping the back of his head in one hand and regarding him with concern for a moment before Adam shakes him off and insists he's fine.

"I'm just tired, Aaron. I'll be okay when I've gotten some kip." Aaron doesn't seem completely convinced, brow still furrowed, but he nods and wishes him goodnight before slipping out the door, leaving Adam to get dressed and into bed.

Yes, he should take advantage of the solitude, should go back to his phone and hunt for more information, but instead he finds himself pulling off his clothes, tugging on the first pyjama bottoms he finds, and crawling into bed. He's out to it almost the second his head hits the pillow.

***

His body is a dirty traitor, and the next time his eyes open it's still dark. The curtains are heavy and block most of the moonlight, but they're not completely closed, letting a sliver of light fall across the bed, highlighting the curve of Aaron's bare back.

Aaron is curled up facing away from him, and Adam finds himself reaching out, gently brushing a hand down Aaron's side. Whatever he's here to learn, there's a good chance it has to do with Aaron. He's not sure what, exactly, not sure whether it has something to do with his relationship with Robert, maybe, but he's realised that he was wrong, earlier today (yesterday?) when he was thinking about the biggest things that have happened. Because it might not have happened _to_ him, but Aaron dealing with what that – what _Gordon_ did to him, it was big. It was really fucking big.

And he'd thought he'd handled it as best as he could. He'd respected Aaron's decision, to tell Robert before anyone else, to get somebody else to tell Adam, had let Aaron decide for himself who he was going to lean on and given him his space. He'd had Robert to talk to, after all, and he can't even imagine how hard it must have been to say it even once, let alone having to repeat it to strangers. He wasn't going to push Aaron to do more.

That wasn't to say he'd just left him to it, though. He'd kept an eye on him, quietly kept up with Chas and Paddy and even Robert so that they all knew how bad he was, whether they should be worried, without making him feel smothered.

He'd stayed up until the early hours of the morning, letting Aaron spill his heart out in abstract ramblings over text, and quietly let Aaron pretend none of it had ever happened the next day. He'd taken the business on his shoulders so that Aaron had the space to deal with his demons, he'd let Aaron come in and work to have something to do and then come back later to fix the mistakes Aaron's preoccupied mind had made. He'd done everything he thought he could without making Aaron feel looked down on and infantilised.

But maybe he should have pushed. Maybe he should have forced himself into Aaron's orbit, should have made him talk. Maybe that's what he's here to learn, that Aaron has more he needs to say, or that Aaron needed more support than he got – different support, rather.

But also... maybe he's not here for _him_ at all. After all, he's in this world's Adam's body; he can only assume that this world's Adam is running around in _his_ body. That he's cataloguing the differences, just like Adam is.

He strokes down Aaron's side again, touching him properly, fingers running over the bumps of his ribs as Aaron's chest rises and falls with gentle breaths. Maybe the lesson in all of this is this world's Adam – Other Adam – finding out about Gordon.

That idea is... unsettling, to say the least. That the length of his stay here could be out of his control, that he could be completely dependent on this other version of him learning some lesson, makes him feel powerless in a way that he hasn't felt until now. At least if he's here to learn z lesson, that gives him something to work towards, gives him some semblance of control over the situation.

Now that he's thought of it, he has a burning need to know whether Gordon has been dealt with here or not, can't stand the possibility that this is all still hanging over Aaron. The idea of watching Aaron go through all of that again makes him sick with dread, and the idea of being here instead of Other Adam when Aaron will need him the most makes him feel even more like an impostor than he already has.

And, fuck, there's every chance that Gordon, in this world, is walking around free right now, is going about his merry way without any sort of guilt weighing him down. His fingers itch with the urge to track him down right this second, to beat his sick face into a bloody pulp, and who gives a fuck if he ends up in prison for life because if Other Adam is in any way like him, he'll agree one hundred percent with Adam's actions.

Of course, he's not going to do that. Not because of any sense of self preservation, or reluctance to commit the act; if Aaron asked him to, if Aaron even gave his blessing, he'd be there in a second with his hands around Gordon's throat, and he'd smile while he did it. But that's precisely it – it's Aaron's trauma, and it's Aaron who gets to decide what to do about it. Dragging it all into the open just so Adam could feel better would be the definition of selfishness.

So he swallows down his anger, just like he'd done when it had been happening in his world. He doesn't want to wake Aaron up by pulling out his phone, or getting up, or anything that would let him hunt around some more, so he just settles in and tries to quiet his mind. His hand slides down Aaron's back as he gets comfortable, but he keeps contact, letting the back of his hand rest against Aaron's warm skin.

He doesn't fall asleep quickly, this time. But sleep does come.

***

The next day he wakes up to an empty bed, and it's a surprisingly lonely feeling. For a second he thinks Aaron has gone off to work without him, but when he blearily squints at his phone it's still early in the morning, and now that he's more awake he can hear movement in the kitchen.

He pulls himself out of bed and pulls on the closest clean shirt, takes a quick detour into the bathroom for a morning piss and to brush his teeth, then shuffles out into the kitchen. Aaron is there alone, two dogs salivating and staring at him intently, but he pauses in preparing them breakfast to turn and greet Adam with a smile.

"Good sleep?" He asks as Adam comes close. He makes a small movement, leaning forward slightly before catching himself and rocking back, and it hits Adam with a jolt of guilt. Aaron shouldn't have to do that, restrain himself with his husband.

Adam knows why he's holding back – because yesterday, faced with an intimacy he'd never had with Aaron, with a relationship tipped on its head, Adam had honestly been less physical with him, less affectionate, than he is even with his Aaron. It's not Aaron's fault, though, that Adam isn't used to this, and he feels bad that he's made Aaron think twice about basic affection.

_Muscle memory_ , he reminds himself, and follows through on that, letting it guide him into cupping Aaron's face and pulling him into a slow kiss.

"I'm sorry for being a moody prick," he murmurs, looking Aaron in the eyes, and he can feel Aaron melt, his hands finding their way to Adam's hips.

"It's fine. Really," he reassures him, gaze focussed and genuine. "I know it's a tough time. You were there for me during everything with my dad, and I'm here for you now. It's what we do. Even when one of us is being a moody prick," he says, mouth pulling up in a wry smile.

"Yeah," is all Adam manages, the mention of Gordon – of _dealing with_ Gordon – hitting him like a bullet. He presses their foreheads together and breathes in Aaron's scent, eyes sliding closed, beyond relieved to know that they don't have to go through that again. God, but he loves this man, no matter whether it's romantic or platonic – and looking after each other _is_ what they do. It's what they've always done, ever since Adam turned up in town and met that chavvy little tearaway sneering defiantly up at his tractor, and it's what they always will do if Adam has anything to say about it.

They stand like that for a few long moments, long enough for Princess to start making soft, impatient whines that Scrappy quickly takes up as well, before Aaron finally pulls back with another quick kiss and turns back to the task of getting them their breakfast. Adam feels himself with the urge to move forward and goes with it, hugs Aaron around the waist from behind and tucks his chin over Aaron's shoulder, and enjoys the way Aaron leans into him.

_Gordon's been dealt with_ , he reassures himself, the knowledge lifting a weight off his shoulders. He still doesn't know exactly what he's here for, and it could still be to do with Aaron and Gordon. But it's getting easier – almost too easy – to take up the mantle of Aaron's husband, and he knows that he's not going to have to watch Aaron go through that whole mess again. It could be worse. _Has_ been worse. He'll figure out how Vic is doing in this universe, and from there he'll figure out what he's meant to figure out – he has plenty of time. So he relaxes and enjoys the moment.  
  
_He can do this_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the incredibly long wait - this chapter just wouldn't cooperate, and went through a lot of revisions before I finally got it into a place I was somewhat happy with. Rest assured, the fic is not dead, and the next chapter should (hopefully) be up a lot quicker.

Aaron untangles himself from Adam's embrace sooner than he'd like, carrying the dog bowls out with two excited dogs bolting ahead, and Adam feels embarrassingly bereft, momentarily alone in his mum's kitchen.

He busies himself getting breakfast sorted, popping toast into the toaster and flicking the kettle on. He's got his face in the cupboard looking for spread when he hears the door, and he pulls back to meet his mum's relieved eyes.

"Morning," he says, giving her what he hopes is a reassuringly normal smile, and she smiles back, coming over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're looking more yourself," she says approvingly.

"Yeah, I'm feeling it. Bit of sleep did me good."

"You know you don't have to put on a front for us, Adam," she says seriously, holding him by the arms and looking him in the eye, and he nods.

"I know, mum," he says, gently grasping her hands and pulling them away from him, squeezing both between his own before letting her go. "I'm alright, I promise. It was just a bad day."

"Okay, well, you take it easy, alright? And you let us help you," she adds with a stern look.

" _Alright_ , mum," he says, rolling his eyes. "I got the message." She smacks him on the arm, rolling her eyes back at him, but he can see that awfully familiar tightness in her face, and when she pulls him in for a hug so tight it verges on desperate he clings back just as tight for a long moment.

"I better get back to work," she says when they part, eyes suspiciously wet, and he pretends not to notice and lets her make a quiet escape. He can't hold back his smile when Aaron sidles into the room right after she leaves, trying to pretend that he hasn't just been awkwardly hovering outside of the room waiting for Adam and Moira to finish their talk.

"Took you a while to get those dogs fed," he teases, and Aaron wrinkles his nose guiltily, rubbing at his jaw.

"That toast looks like it's gone cold," he says, nodding at the counter and completely sidestepping Adam's comment, and Adam is hit with a jolt of affection for his ever awkward, kind hearted best friend.

He lets Aaron off the hook, throwing out the cold toast and making them both some more (not entirely on purpose – Aaron grabs his first lot right after Adam finishes making them and leaves Adam to roll his eyes and start again) and they quickly get ready, having – mercifully separate – showers and teaming up to wrangle a still 90-percent asleep Liv out the door on time.

Everything is feeling increasingly natural all the time, and the ride to work is the same. Aaron seems content in Adam's improvement and is in one of his talkative moods – well, talkative for him – and Adam lets it wash over him. It's funny, how different this place is, but he's pretty sure he's already heard this exact chatter from Aaron before. He reaches over almost involuntarily and affectionately squeezes the back of Aaron's neck, drinking in the startled, pleased look he gets in response.

"What was that for?" Aaron grumbles, half-heartedly fighting the smile pulling his mouth up, and Adam just shrugs.

"It's nice seeing you happy." Aaron smacks him on the shoulder, pulling up in front of the familiar portacabin, and makes a face at him.

"I'm meant to be the one saying that," he protests, but he bumps affectionately against him as they both head inside, and Adam takes that as tacit confirmation that this Aaron has been struggling lately just like his.

Aaron seems content enough in Adam's recovery to not protest at Adam helping as they deal with all of the stuff that they'd left the other day, and Adam might not be completely back to his old self, but he's feeling well enough to hold his own with the heavier work of lifting and dismantling all of the scrap left on the back of the truck.

He does manage to work up quite a sweat, though – not that that dissuades Aaron at all from pressing him up against the cabin wall when they head inside for a break, hand curled around the back of his neck as he kisses him deep. Adam goes with it, ostensibly to keep up appearances, but – well. It's not exactly a hardship.

It's not like he wasn't aware, in the back of his mind, that Aaron must be more than decent in bed, and by extension at kissing – he fucking loves his friend to pieces, but Robert certainly isn't the type to have started up that initial affair because he liked Aaron as a person. There must have been something that kept him coming back, at the start.

But knowing is an entirely different thing from _feeling;_ from feeling Aaron's mouth against his, his tongue against his, content puffs of hot air against his face. And the fact that it's a bloke he's kissing, a bloke he's _enjoying_ kissing – well, that doesn't feel as strange as he'd always convinced himself it would.

Aaron lets out a low noise and slides his hands down Adam's chest, toying lazily with his belt, and Adam is very, very interested in where this is going – and then, the reality of the situation hitting him like getting doused with ice cold water, he realises that, no, no, he is not.

That's not to say that he doesn't think he'd enjoy the experience, but this was trampling right over a lot of boundaries – his own, his Vic's, his Aaron's, this Aaron's – hell, even this world's Adam. Not to mention that Adam's lack of experience with men – and with Aaron in particular – would be painfully obvious, and the entire point of going along with this in the first place was so Aaron _wouldn't_ be suspicious.

Aaron notices Adam's hesitance, hands moving to Adam's hips as he presses an open mouthed kiss to his neck.

"I reckon everyone's learnt their lesson about walking in unannounced by now, Adam," he says against his skin, and Adam huffs out a laugh, torn between being mortified about something that hadn't even happened to him and being pleased that whatever else has happened over here, at least it sounds like other-him and Aaron have been making the most of things.

"I'm hungry," he manages as an excuse, and he's relieved that when Aaron pulls away and steps back slightly he looks fond and not put out.

"And I suppose you want me to go fetch some lunch for you," he teases. Adam hadn't really intended anything more than to extract himself from the situation without hurting Aaron, but the opportunity for some more private sleuthing (and food) has just offered itself to him, and he's not going to say no.

"Well..." he says, giving Aaron a well practiced puppy dog stare, and this Aaron seems to have developed the exact same immunity that his has – that is to say, he manages to hold an unimpressed look for all of five seconds, and then makes a show of rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically.

"Fine. You're buying tonight, though," he grumbles, leaning forward to press a final kiss to his mouth before stepping back properly and grabbing his jacket from the table.

"Love you," Adam says before he even thinks about it, the words coming out teasing but sincere, which earns him another fond eyeroll as Aaron heads out the door.

"I love you, too, you knob," Aaron says, before the door clicks shut behind him. A smile comes unbidden to his face, and as he listens to the car start up and drive away he muses that the muscle memory must still be strong, if that had come out so naturally.

He has more to do than sit here thinking about Aaron, though, so he pulls his phone out, tapping open Facebook this time for another round of investigating as he settles into a chair and pointedly ignores the low level arousal still making itself known.

The first thing he does is click over to his own profile, and is a little surprised to see that his name is still Adam Barton – he supposes he hadn't changed his name when him and Vic got married, but he'd kind of assumed that Aaron wouldn't have been too quick to take Adam's name. Another quick click through, though, shows that he _is_ on as Aaron Barton. Huh. A small smile pulls his lips up again; at the name, yes, but also at the cover photo – a picture of Scrappy laying down with Princess stretched out at her side – and the profile picture, another one of him and Adam smiling at the camera with their faces close together.

He scrolls further down – _works at Holy Scrap, married to Adam Barton –_ and pauses at the collection of showcased photos, not even remotely surprised to see that the majority of them are photos of one or both of the dogs.

"Soft lad," he says under his breath at the only non-dog photo – himself and Liv, Adam's arm around her neck in a playful headlock as he shoots a broad, admittedly shit eating grin at the person behind the camera while Liv grips his arm, managing to glower through the smile splitting her face.

The picture makes him smile, but at the same time the sight of him and Liv looking so much like siblings makes him think of him and Hannah, of him and Holly; makes him keenly feel their absence. He flicks down past the picture, unwilling to dwell on the loss of one sister and the continued distance of the other, and stops again on the first post – one written by him.

_one year since I finally got that ring on your finger_ _**Aaron Barton** _ _and it's been the best year of my life. Can't wait to spend the rest of it with you_

That's followed by the requisite string of heart emojis, and it was posted recently: _12th September_.

One year. It's funny, if you'd have asked him what he thought was true of his and Aaron's relationship here, he wouldn't've had much of an answer for you; but tell them that they'd been married a year, and it feels completely wrong to him. Which is as ridiculous as the whole experience he's found himself having – they're in their early twenties, for god's sake, being married at all is big, he shouldn't be feeling like it's not a very long time.

He supposes it's a bit of projection, on his part – from the beginning of his friendship with Aaron there had been that absolute, bone deep surety that this boy was going to be in his life forever. It feels like if that relationship turned romantic, it would be just as obvious from the start that they were for keeps, that it would be a natural progress to make it official as early as possible.

He continues scrolling down Aaron's sparse wall for a bit, not finding much else of note, and quickly gives in to his curiosity, navigating his way to Vic's profile. It's unnervingly similar to the profile of his Vic – the main difference, the one that makes his fingers tighten on his phone, is _in a relationship with_ _ **Oscar Hopkins**_. He knows he has no right to be jealous, no right to feel a possessive twist in his chest, but fuck, he can't help it – seeing Vic with someone else hurts. He tries not to make any assumptions about the man his wife-but-not is dating ( _not good enough for her,_ his inner voice hisses) and scrolls further down, coming upon a picture of said boyfriend.

It's a photo of Vic and this Oscar smiling at the camera, obviously on a day out, and Adam hates to admit it but she looks genuinely happy, and he looks perfectly nice, as much as you can tell these things from a photo. Black curls, tanned skin, a broad, easy smile – he can't help but fucking hate him. He wonders whether Vic knows him, back in his universe, and has to cut off that thought pattern before it takes him too far. Vic is with him. He trusts her. It doesn't matter.

He tortures himself some more, tapping through to trawl through her photos, bristling at the numerous appearances of this Oscar in amongst pictures that wouldn't be at all out of place in his universe. He can feel his thoughts getting away from him, the differences between this universe and his own starting to swallow him, and he backs out of the app, placing his phone on the desk in front of him and pressing his hands into his eyes.

Cataloguing his different relationship with Aaron was hard enough; seeing evidence of the absence of his wife, of a loss rather than a gain, is something else. He can feel his breath start to come quicker, his chest feeling tight, until he's startled out of his encroaching panic by the door swinging open and Aaron coming through.

He manages to come to himself in time to catch the package Aaron tosses to him, Aaron's presence immediately helping calm his thundering heart.

"Ta," he says, as Aaron drags a chair around and drops down into it, swinging his feet up onto the desk Adam is sitting at and smiling at him. He lets himself relax into his seat and smile back.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day goes quickly, the last few pieces left on the trailer taken down and dealt with before both of them retire to the cabin. Ostensibly to work on paperwork, but in practice for Adam to goad Aaron into a heated rehash on the differences between Star Trek and Star Wars that devolves into a stationary fight when Aaron finally realises that Adam is just fucking with him. They end up staying later than normal cleaning up after themselves (Aaron insists he doesn't have to help because he was provoked, but he cleans up beside Adam anyway, albeit with a lot of grumbling to himself) and then head to the Woolpack.

His heart is in his throat, stepping through those familiar doors, because he's uncomfortably aware that this might be it – his first in-person meeting with a Vic he's never been married to, a Vic he's not with at all.

And it is.

She's stood behind the counter when they walk in, talking over her shoulder to Marlon, and his breath catches in his throat, struck by the reality of how much he's missed her. It's been a long time since he's gone a whole day without talking to her, much less without even seeing her. He feels like he must look dazed as he follows right behind Aaron to the counter, but if he does she doesn't seem to notice, giving them both a warm smile as she turns to face them.

"You'll both be wanting a pint, then," she says, and Adam can only nod as Aaron confirms for the both of them, unable to make his throat work. He still hasn't even managed a proper hello by the time she's handed them both a glass and shooed them over to a table where they settle down across from each other.

He's not at all surprised that Aaron isn't being touchy-feely in public; no holding hands, no hooking their feet together, no sitting at his side and pressing up against him. That's never been his style, but Adam is pleased at the way Aaron kicks his legs out and lets his feet rest against Adam's. Not playing footsie by a long shot, but a gentle pressure, confirmation of his presence.

"Want me to get us some food in?" Aaron offers, and Adam frowns.

"Mum'll be making dinner, Aaron."

"Dun't mean we can't get a few chips," Aaron says defensively, and Adam rolls his eyes.

"Go on, then," he sighs, as if he's not just as keen now that Aaron's suggested it, so Aaron pushes himself up, leaving Adam to people watch for a bit.

Just like the last time he was here, nothing feels out of place. The usual punters are sat around at tables; Ross is waving a toy in Moses's face with one hand and drinking his beer with the other; an exasperated Marlon is arguing with Vic while Aaron leans on the bar with his mouth tilted up in amusement.

Adam leans back in his chair and watches as Aaron manages to get Vic's attention and make their order, grinning at him when Aaron settles back into his seat.

"What were them two arguing about?" he asks, and Aaron just shrugs, taking a drink.

"Who knows."

"Very observant, you are," Adam teases, earning himself an unfairly hard kick in the shin, and then a condescending kiss on the mouth when he pouts and rubs at his leg that startles him out of complaining.

Turns out he's not entirely adverse to PDA, then. Not that that would classify as such to most people, but to Aaron? It would.

He's saved from floundering when Vic pops up next to their table, placing a bowl of hot chips between them with a smile that Aaron and Adam return.

"Ta," Aaron says, digging in immediately.

"How've you two been, then?" she asks, and Adam is grateful for the way she asks the question of both of them, the way she doesn't give Adam that heavy look of pity that so many other people do lately.

"Pretty good, considering," he answers, not wanting to draw attention to his loss but feeling like he'd be betraying his sister if he didn't acknowledge it, and Vic's smile turns soft as she nods.

"That's good," she says, and Aaron hums in agreement.

"Probably doing better than you, with that brother of yours hanging around all day," he says with a pointed raise of his eyebrows, and Vic huffs and tosses her head in exasperation.

"Right, I've told you before, he's really cut up about him and Chrissie, alright? He's just finding his feet again."

Aaron just snorts and piles another handful of chips into his mouth, shooting Adam a look that means Adam is obviously usually on his side, and Adam does his best to look like he thinks Robert is as much of a wanker as this Aaron seems to. Which isn't hard, to be entirely honest, but it's beyond strange to hear Aaron talk so dismissively about the man his Aaron is talking about marrying.

Vic sighs at their obvious disagreement.

"Okay, fine, be like that. I hope you choke on those bloody chips," she says with an exaggerated frown that says she's not serious, heading back to the bar and leaving Adam to resist begging her to come back. He can't shake the ridiculous sense that she's angry at him, with the lack of affection she's showing him; he knows that she's just treating him normally, that it would be beyond strange for her to treat him like a husband when he's not, but he can't help but feel like he needs to be racking his brain to figure out what he's done wrong.

He falls back into easy conversation with Aaron, the topic of Robert left behind quickly. He feels sure that he's being obvious, only half listening and keeping his eye on Vic, but Aaron doesn't seem to notice anything is amiss, and they get through the rest of the chips and another beer each before heading back home.

The atmosphere when they get back is calm and easy, Liv fairly chatty when she hasn't got her nose stuck in her phone, his mum cheerful, Aaron relaxed. It's a completely uneventful evening, and Adam feels like he's been settled into this routine for years.

Everyone retreats to their rooms early, and Adam is a little bit worried about what Aaron will want to get up to – but Aaron seems like he's already half asleep as he strips down and crawls under the covers, watching Adam turn the light out with lidded eyes and then pressing into him when he climbs under the covers, back pressed against Adam's chest.

"G'night," Aaron says sleepily, and Adam murmurs the same into Aaron's shoulder, pressing an impulsive kiss to his warm skin for emphasis.

Aaron goes quiet and relaxed quickly, but Adam can't stop his brain from spinning uselessly, going over everything about this weird new place he's found out. Aaron's name has been sticking in his head all day, not quite feeling right, and he didn't know why – but now, mulling it over, he realises why it's so weird. He couldn't see Aaron giving up the name Dingle - but he's seen him give up Livesy gladly. If the timing of everything coming out is the same here as it is back in Adam's universe, then it stands to reason Aaron would have taken Adam's name before he'd ever changed to Dingle in the first place.

He can't be sure that using Dingle never got discussed, before they got married – maybe this Aaron just doesn't want it. He can't stand the idea that Aaron had never had it as a choice, though. He should dig a little bit more, he knows, try and find out what the situation was, but....

"Aaron?" he says quietly into the dark.

"Mmm?" Aaron response is quiet and muffled, and he's obviously right on the edge of sleep, but Adam keeps going.

"I was just thinking... shut up," he warns, at Aaron's small sleepy huff, insult obvious even though he can't be bothered to form it into words. "I was thinking, that if, y'know, you wanted to hyphenate, that would be – I would be fine with that. I know that we talked about it before we - and if you don't want to that's fine as well, I just. Yeah. If you do want to then we can."

"Hmm? What're you goin' on about?" Aaron's words are sleep slurred and confused and he's obviously only half listening, indulging Adam but ready to sleep.

"You know, our last name. If you wanted to hyphenate it." It takes a second for Aaron to process, but after a beat he goes tense, muscles tightening and fingers curling into the sheets.

"I was glad to be rid of his name," he says stiffly, and the response is so unexpected that it takes Adam a few long seconds before he realises what Aaron thinks he's saying.

"No! No, that's not what I meant," he rushes to clarify, having to pause to control his voice so he doesn't wake anyone. "I meant if you wanted to use Dingle, babe." The tension thankfully leaves Aaron's muscles at that, and he rolls over, facing Adam with a creased brow.

"What? I've never been a Dingle, Adam." Adam snorts incredulously.

"Not by name, maybe. I wouldn't want to be the person who tries telling the Dingles you're not one of them, though." Aaron scrunches his face up like he always does when he's pleased and trying (badly) not to show it, biting his bottom lip.

"You don't think it would be weird, me just going 'hey, guys, I'm using Dingle now'?"

"No, Aaron, I think they'd be made up. I know they would," he insists, pressing a gentle, impulsive kiss to his mouth for emphasis. And he does know, because he'd seen the reactions when his Aaron had changed his name, and if the Dingles here wouldn't be delighted then he's dead sure that he'd feel the wrongness in the air itself.

Aaron hums noncommittally, but he can see he's starting to think about it, now that he's had the idea put in his head.

"Just something to think about," Adam reassures him, and Aaron nods, wiggling forward into his chest and tucking his face into his shoulder.

"What brought this on?" he asks quietly, as Adam hugs him close, and Adam just shrugs.

"Was just thinking about family, I guess," he murmurs, and Aaron kisses his shoulder, squeezing his waist before relaxing into him.

He's out to it quickly, loose and pliable against Adam's chest, and Adam wonders whether this was what he was meant to do – put this idea in Aaron's head, give him that extra connection to his family. He knows how much it meant to his Aaron, getting that. Maybe he'll wake up tomorrow in his normal bed, with Vic next to him.

Really, he's not all that convinced that this is it. Not that he has any way of knowing when it is, but it doesn't feel like it, somehow. He still finds himself drinking in the moment, though, shying away from sleep, concentrating on the feeling of Aaron utterly relaxed next to him, against him. The way his hair feels, fluffy and gel free against his face. The way he smells like home.


End file.
